I love 1 Corinthians 13. I really do. It’s beautiful and it’s true. But it’s also been read at approximately every wedding since the printing press was invented. If you’re looking for something a little bit different, you’ll find ten of my favourite alternatives in this post. Some are poems. Some are prose. All of them have, at various points, made me do that thing where you pretend you’ve got something in your eye.
I hope one of them is the one you’ve been looking for.
1. ‘Love Sonnet XVII’ – Pablo Neruda
Love Sonnet XVII is a love poem unlike most love poems in that there’s a hint of darkness to it. There are no comparisons to a summer’s day, and none of the conventional romantic imagery you might expect. Instead, Neruda says: I love you quietly, privately, deeply – the way things that exist unobserved are most truly themselves.
Perfect for: couples who love literature, who find grand gestures slightly embarrassing, or who want a reading that doesn’t tip into the saccharine.
2. ‘Love’ – Mary Carolyn Davies
This poem is often attributed to Roy Croft (including by me on my Instagram account) but apparently Roy Croft is actually a pseudonym, and the author is Mary Carolyn Davies. Either way, this is a heartfelt poem that resonates with those who feel like their partner sees them for who they are and brings out the best version of them – and vice versa. This bit in particular makes my eyes sting:
"I love you for
putting your hand into my heaped-up heart
And passing over all the foolish, weak things
that you can’t help dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out into the light
All the beautiful things
that no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find."
No, YOU’RE crying!
Perfect for: almost any couple, but particularly those who’d describe their relationship as a partnership.
3. ‘Let There Be Spaces In Your Togetherness’ – Kahlil Gibran
Kahlil Gibran’s ‘On Marriage‘ is probably the most well-known of the alternatives to traditional religious readings, which means you may have come across it before, but that doesn’t make it any less extraordinary. People often begin from the line: “[But] Let there be spaces in your togetherness…”
What makes this reading unusual is that it’s not just about closeness, but also space. It’s about two people who love each other intensely and still remain, essentially and importantly, themselves. The tree imagery at the end – “the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow” – is particularly profound.
A writer for the National Catholic Register actually discouraged people from including this reading in their wedding. The thrust of their argument was that it’s bad advice because it reflects the ‘modern interpretation’ of love and marriage which prioritises the individual over the unit. They claim this perspective has led to more divorces, which is bad. Until you realise how many people in previous generations suffered in sad, lonely marriages because they didn’t realise that they actually are the main character in their life and they are allowed to want a better experience. Personal autonomy is important in a relationship – and completely healthy. The writer also seemed to be in favour of “self-sacrificial love” (the feminist in me is dying to write an entire essay about the gendered issues in that one). So, if anything, please use the National Catholic Register’s opinion as a reason to include this poem in your wedding!
Perfect for: couples who value independence alongside togetherness. It’s also great for second marriages, or for couples who’ve been together a long time and already know something about what it takes.
4. ‘All I Know About Love’ – Neil Gaiman
Neil Gaiman wrote this poem for a friend’s wedding, and it has since, deservedly, taken over the world. If you haven’t encountered it before, prepare yourself. It’s wise and warm and somehow simultaneously modest and profound, which is a difficult thing to pull off! I love this section in particular:
"It's not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it's what they mean.
Somebody's got your back.
Somebody knows your worst self and somehow doesn't want to rescue you or send for the army to rescue them."
Perfect for: anyone who finds conventionally romantic language a bit much and wants something that feels more honest and real.
5. ‘The Amber Spyglass’ – Phillip Pullman
This one isn’t a poem. It’s a passage from the final book of Philip Pullman’s ‘His Dark Materials’ trilogy, and if you know the books, you already know why it’s here.
For the uninitiated: Lyra and Will are two young people from different worlds who are facing an impossible goodbye. What Lyra says in this passage is one of the most beautiful things ever written about love as a permanent, cosmic thing. The idea that the people we love become part of what we’re made of, that we carry each other in our atoms, that there is no version of the universe in which two people who truly belong together are completely separated… It’s very moving!
"I'll love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again… I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me."
I dare you to read that in a room full of people who love each other and not have at least three of them completely lose it. I’m losing it right now!
Perfect for: anyone who grew up with His Dark Materials, obviously. Fantasy readers, hopeless romantics, people who aren’t afraid to cry in public.
6. ‘Benedicto’ – Edward Abbey
Right, slight change of gear. This one is specifically for the couples who feel most at home outdoors. Edward Abbey was an American author and environmental activist, famously devoted to the wild places of the world. His Benedicto is a blessing: a wish for the people you love to experience the beauty and wonder of the wilderness. It’s an unusual choice for a wedding reading because it isn’t about romantic love, but it really works for two people beginning a life together and for those who want to wish them a full and adventurous experience of the world.
If your relationship was forged in the outdoors – hiking, climbing, wild swimming, whatever it is – this is the reading that will make everyone understand exactly who you are.
Perfect for: Outdoor weddings and couples who met walking, camping, or travelling.
7. ‘You Deserve a Lover’ – attributed to Frida Kahlo
‘You Deserve a Lover’ is essentially a manifesto for the kind of love you should demand for yourself. Not a comfortable or convenient love – or a love that asks you to make yourself smaller – but a love that chooses you deliberately and stays through the good times and the bad. A love that treasures your idiosyncrasies and finds joy and confidence in your partnership.
Perfect for: couples who know what they don’t want because they’ve been through relationships that weren’t right, and who found in each other something completely different.
8. ‘I’d Rather Rise in Love With You’ – Jana Lynne Umipig
I love this one. And I’m pretty sure the National Catholic Register would hate it. Here’s a little extract:
"I don't want to sacrifice any part of me to make it work
I want to invest in all of me and all of you
And give gratitude
That we empower one another in self worth"
This fantastic feminist reading challenges some of the language of romance and offers up a more empowering interpretation of love and partnership. I think it speaks to people who think about relationships as active choices and who have talked properly about who they are and what they want, rather than people who simply fell into something and hoped for the best.
Perfect for: feminists! And anyone who finds the traditional language of falling in love, of losing yourself in someone, a bit passive or not quite how they’d describe things.
9. ‘A Lovely Love Story’ – Edward Monkton
I have a confession: I have cried – more than once – reading a children’s book! And, in my defence, some of these stories really land an emotional blow! This is one of them.
Edward Monkton is the pen name of Giles Andreae, whose illustrations and musings have been making people feel unexpected things for decades. ‘A Lovely Love Story’ tells the tale of two dinosaurs, a fierce one who has been ‘trapped in his cage of ice’ and a free-spirited one, who melts the cage of ice with their kind words and loving thoughts. The two dinosaurs are different, but they become fond of each other’s idiosyncrasies and discover that they complement one another.
Perfect for: almost any couple, but especially an ‘opposites attract’ couple.
10. ‘The Orange’ – Wendy Cope
I’m slightly biased about this one, and I’ll tell you why upfront. My friends Michael and Hannah got married, and they asked me to read this at their ceremony. I have had it memorised ever since. On the surface, The Orange is about buying an orange at lunchtime and sharing it with friends. That’s it. That’s the poem. Except it isn’t, because what it’s actually about is the way happiness arrives quietly and without announcement when you’re living a life with someone who brings you joy.
"The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list.
And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I'm glad I exist."
Perfect for: any couple who’d describe their relationship as much in terms of small rituals and enjoyable routines as grand romance.
Ultimately, the right reading for your ceremony is the one that sounds like your relationship, or makes you smile, cry, or give each other’s hand a squeeze. If you’re not sure whether to include something or not, here’s a question to ask yourself: does it make you feel, when you read it, that whoever wrote it somehow knew something specific about you? If it’s describing your particular version of love rather than love in general, then it’s probably a good fit!
If you’d like help finding readings for your ceremony – or want someone to build a ceremony that feels completely like the two of you – that’s what I’m here for. Send me a message to arrange an informal chat (or just book an appointment in my calendar). We can have a quick conversation and go from there.
